But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
