So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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