wanna go halves on a baby?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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