I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
