At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
