it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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