Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
