he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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