Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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