the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
