Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize