Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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