I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
