And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
