I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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