i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
