we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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