I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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