i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
