Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
ugly people sure do ruin things
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize