Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
