It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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