Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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