Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
True strength comes from lack of pants
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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