What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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