I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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