I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
