i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
