i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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