all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
