There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize