I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
