wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
