All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I need water and some morals
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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