just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
