Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
