He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
