i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
