i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
