He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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