I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
