People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
