i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
