My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
