I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
