I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
