I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
