just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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