My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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