Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
