Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
