I'm eating all of the evidence.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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