That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You're like the curious george of whores
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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