My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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