Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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