Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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