I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
