Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
