Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize