Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
