put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
