Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
