You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
