using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
