We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
