all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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