Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
