So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
